As we hear more and more about how the Democrats lied, via Jonathan Gruber, We keep seeing the "stupidity of the American voter" liberal left wing lunatics in Hollywood continue to defend the Affordable Care Act which we know by now is not affordable, not care, but definitely an act. Here is what I propose! The Affordable Movie Act!
The Government could say that studies show that Americans are happier when they can have affordable access to movies in a theater, and 3D movies at home! In response to this study, they deem it necessary that every American see no less than 3 movies in a theater per year and purchase at least one 3D movie for home viewing. They will sell this law under the premise that it will raise the moral of the nation since they say they will be happier. They will mandate this using the IRS. The President will come out multiple times and tell you, if you like your actors and actresses, you can keep them in your movies. The President will also tell you that they will make a special website in which you can use to purchase your movie tickets in advance so that you will be able to walk right through the doors and into the movie. Congress will hold little debate on this law. They will also fail to read this law! One party of congress will pass this law without a single vote from the other party.
Hollywood would catch wind of this law and all the writers and actors guilds will demand that they, their families be exempt from this law. The President, Congress, Supreme Court members will also be exempt from being forced to patron their theaters and buy movies to watch at home! The Government will place a limit on the amount of money that Theaters will be able to take in from ticket sales. Popcorn, snack food, drink prices will also be regulated as the government has deemed that all Americans benefit from consuming those items in concert with watching the movie. As proof of compliance, Americans will have to make copies of their ticket stubs and receipt from consumables purchased at the theater as well as proof that a movie was purchased for home viewing and attach those to their IRS annual tax paperwork.
The Government will spend nearly a billion dollars constructing the website designed to make ticket purchasing easier and promoting that site on social media, sports games etc. The website will crash many times and when it does work, it will tell others what you chose to go see. You expect your choice of movies to be kept private and confidential. Anti-Virus experts and companies will label Moviecare.com to be a Hacker's wet dream. Hundreds of thousands of identities are stolen as a result.
Critics of Moviecare.com will be labeled by the mainstream media such as CNN, MSNBC, Huffington Post, Salon, LA Times, as racist, sexist, misogynistic, etc. They will claim that they dont want Americans to be happy and that they don't want the poor to be able to watch movies. They will claim that this law will create more jobs. They claim that watching Movies and owning movies is a right and condemn people for making a profit!
Theaters will start to go out of business as a result. First it will be the small mom and pop two screen theaters that aired classic movies based on changing genres and themes. Then you will see the small companies that provide consumables for the patrons to enjoy their movie with go out of business. This will leave only the mega theaters and the big corporate popcorn, soda, candy, snack providers in business as they will be able to afford to adjust their business models to all the thousands of new regulations.
As Americans begin scrambling to find a theater at various times of the year, you will see long waits to see movies. Theaters will begin to close their doors to the public due to lack of profits, poor quality of films being produced by Hollywood due to the lack of competition, and because they cannot afford to pay the big corporations that provide them with consumables. Private Organizations that used to provide subsidies for movie tickets would be abolished by the new law. Questionnaires will be required to be filled out after each movie in order for that movie to count toward your requirement for the year. They will include completely irrelevant and offensive questions such as do you have a gun in your home, or if you use lube when you have sex. Failure to answer ALL questions will result in that movie not counting. Questions answered a certain way may put that person at risk for an audit by the IRS or in certain circumstances, a No Knock SWAT raid!
The public will demand to know if this law is working by seeing numbers of Americans who have become happier and trivially smarter by having to go see and own movies. The government will lie about approval ratings and lie about improved numbers. Election time comes around and the Government will issue a gag order about the real numbers or how much movie tickets will go up as a result until after the elections. Those exemptions for the Writers and Actors will expire after the President is re-elected. The media will stay silent and protect the President even at the expense of their journalistic integrity.
Americans will begin to notice that while they are paying a higher price for their tickets and consumables, that others will pay little to nothing for theirs. They will experience more crowded conditions and more rudeness from those who perhaps didn't pay as much and therefore dont really have the same level of appreciation and respect for others as those that paid full price. Actors and Writers will begin to see the Government dictating the terms of their contract. The Government will require that they be involved in X amount of movies per year and begin to see limits placed upon their pay. Actors and Writers will cease to make movies for Hollywood. They will take their craft underground and become a concierge service providers off the books. Movie quality will take a steep nose dive as only those with very little talent and experience will remain.
It will come out that those involved with crafting this law will say that this law passed due to the "Stupidity of the American Voter" and that this law was written in a torturous manner as to keep the CBO from scoring it appropriately. Those politicians that voted for this law will disavow knowing anyone that actually crafted this law.
Maybe Hollywood actors/actresses, writers, directors, etc. will think about this before opening their self righteous pie holes in defense of the Affordable Care Act aka Obamacare.
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